


Choices

by ces3951



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:05:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9836888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ces3951/pseuds/ces3951
Summary: Danny had made a lot of bad decisions in his life. He just wasn't sure if choosing Steve was one of them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set between Season 1 and 2. Does not really follow a timeline. I do not own any of these characters much to my eternal regret. Hope y'all enjoy.

Danny stared at the coffee pot, watching, waiting –drip, drip, drip- done. He poured it into his Greatest Dad mug and chugged it. The coffee burned its way down and left a bitter after taste. It hurt, but it made him feel something, so it was all good in his book.

For a man used to feeling a lot of things, and Danny was comfortable enough in his masculinity to acknowledge that, right now, there seems to be a giant gaping hole deep in his chest, where those feelings should reside. He was numb. Which were deep thoughts for a 5 a.m. rendezvous with his desk at the 5-0 headquarters.

There were no cases pending, except for the on-going hunt for Wo Fat, but well, Rome hadn’t burned in a day. Steve was probably already obsessing his way through strategic ops on how to hunt the bastard down. Kono, aka Mini-McGarrett, would be up with the sun, board in hand and sea salt on her skin. Chin, who the fuck knew what he was doing. Maybe sleeping in like the only normal guy on the team. Or yoga, Chin seemed like a Zen master kind of guy.

And Danny…well he was sitting at a desk in an empty office with the lights off. Talk about a creepy, pathetic loser. He held his mug and stared at the words. Greatest Dad. Wow, what a complete fucking lie. Once upon a time those words had rang true, but that was before Hawaii. Before 5-0, his divorce, and Steve. It went all the way back to Jersey, where he should be now, but that hadn’t happened. Steve had happened.

His cell phone rang. He let it go to voicemail.

Of the 5 people that could be calling him, Danny had no desire to chat. Except Grace. Always Gracie. But she wouldn’t be calling now. His baby was probably getting ready to board a plan back to Hawaii. Home, she called it.

Danny wasn’t sure where home was anymore.

It had been Jersey and Rachel and then Gracie came along and made his whole world complete. Even after the divorce and moving to this pineapple-infested hellhole, Danny had always known that where Grace was, he would follow. His world may have shattered but his daughter was still there and she needed him.

He had let her down.

Danny felt the ache in his chest and the burn in his eyes. Time for more coffee. If he managed to break down into manly tears of shame, he was going to blame it on the goddamn too hot coffee.

The phone rang again. They probably had a case and Steve was calling for a pick up.

Danny ignored it again. They would all make their way here anyway.

\---------------

Danny worked on paperwork till he heard the tell tale stomping of military surplus thick soled boots. Steve must be pissed. Usually McGarrett channeled the island spirit during downtime. He had a certain swagger to his walk that spoke of relaxed tension. Like a panther on the move, always ready for an attack.

Today, the footsteps marched, quick and deadly, heedless of noise. A slight pause, barely a second and the steps grew louder. Danny didn’t raise his head.

The sharp thwack of hand hitting glass finally had Danny reacting. He looked up and glared as Steve charged toward his desk.

“What the hell is your problem, McGarrett? Why do you have Aneurism face on?” Danny kept the glare, but inside his stomach flipped and his heart proceed to beat like it was auditioning for snare drum line.

“What the hell is going on? Why haven’t you been answering your phone? And why are you here at 6:30 a.m. when we haven’t pulled a case?” Steve didn’t yell but his pinched expression said he was holding it back.

Danny waved his hands dismissively. “My phone died and I left the charger at the house. Which I may point out, I haven’t really been to this week, what with you getting arrested for murdering the Governor, Wo Fat being a general pain in the ass, Kaye leaving, and those are just the highlights. You know, I don’t think a week goes by without murder and mayhem since I met you. And another thing…”

“Danno.” Steve interrupted. Danny had just hit his stride but let the rant die out when he saw Steve’s face.

Steve’s jaw clenched and his mouth set in a stern line. “I’m glad you are ok, Danno. Just don’t go silent again.”

Danny let the bluster go and sighed. “Babe, you really know how to be a mood killer.” Steve just shot him a half smile before getting to business. “Move it Danno, we got a case.”

\--------

The case was a dud. Not that Danny wasn’t feeling sympathy for the poor bastard that capped himself, but it was relief to get back to his office with its stacks of paperwork. Reports were safe. Danny could lose himself in tedious fill-in-the-blank and distract McGarrett, who was busy avoiding his desk like his life depending on it.

The car trip there and back had been difficult. Danny tried, really he did, but morose thoughts kept him too silent, leading Steve to give him the stink eye the whole time. Steve hadn’t pushed, but it was only a matter of time. Nothing deterred a Navy Seal on a mission. Well the paperwork, but Steve would demolish that flimsy excuse before too long.

 

Until then, just him, paperwork, and a coffee mug that mocked him every time he glanced up. Danny thought about throwing it away, it was no less then he deserved. Still…it was a present from Grace and it suited his guilt-ridden mood to stare at his failure.

The office was quiet. Steve hadn’t even called Kono and Chin in on this one. Good thing, as the case wasn’t even a case, but those two deserved a break. They all did, but unlike the others, outside work and Grace, Danny had nowhere else to go. A break was equivalent with a prison sentence for all the fun it provided. He could hang with Steve, but well that had become a problem in itself.

Danny couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment his feelings for Steve had begun to change. It wasn’t the 3rd Thursday of the month or the 2nd aerial rifle assault. One day he woke up, and it was just there. And wasn’t that a kick in the ass. He had wined and dined Rachel for months before admitting he loved her, sweating and shaking as he served dinner, working up the courage to say it. With Steve, there was no build up and no finesse; affection bulldozed Danny over. Just like the man himself. And there Danny was, in love with his partner. And even if Steve didn’t realize it, Danny had already confessed.

“Come on, partner. Time for some beers.” Danny jumped. Steve had snuck in and stood relaxed against the partially open door, a sheepish smile on his face.

“It’s barely 1 pm.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s been a long week.”

Danny snorted and stood from the desk. “Amen to that, babe.”

Danny felt his nerves kick up as he followed Steve to the car. His car. The one he never got to drive because of Commander Control Freak. Another reason in the long list of reasons why being in love with Steve was a terrible idea.

Putting aside his daughter, HPD, and Steve being a man, the real problem was hitching his heart to a trigger-happy basket case that was going to go out in a flame of glory. One of these days, Steve was going to come up against a problem that he couldn’t Super Seal his way out of and Danny was going down with him. What kind of family would that be for his daughter?

“Would you spit it out already?” Steve said as he taped he fingers against the wheel.

Danny glared. “Spit what out?”                                             

“Whatever’s bothering you? Normally, I can’t get you to shut up and these last two days? Nothing.”

“Well excuse you! Says the man that called me sensitive. Maybe I finally got tired of hearing you whine about my feelings.”

“What feelings?” Steve waved his hands around. “You complain 24/7 about anything and everything. It’s a sad fact of my life that I know something is wrong, when you can’t be bothered to air out your displeasure with the world.”

“Keep your hands on the wheel, you animal!” Danny yelled. “I don’t want my daughter to have to get a call from HPD, saying her daddy is currently in the hospital courtesy of her Uncle Steve. “

“Speaking of Grace, when does she get back?”

Danny rolled his eyes, latching his finger together to prevent them from waving around. “Really, now you want to change the subject?”

“I just didn’t want to hear the driving lecture again. It’ll put me off my beer. Get me a Longboard, I’m going for a quick swim.” Steve said, as he pulled into driveway of his home.

“What am I, your wife?” Danny scoffed but Steve was already out the car and headed into the house.

Danny grabbed the beers and headed for the beach chairs. Steve followed a few minutes’ later, wearing board shorts and a ten-watt grin.

“You coming in with me, Danno?”

“Not on your life, you crazy bastard.”

Steve clapped him on the shoulder, still grinning. “You don’t know what you are missing.”

Danny knew exactly what he was missing. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Steve half naked before, sun kissed skin, water dripping down the sculpted planes of his body. He was a man for god’s sake. And even setting aside the gooey mushy feelings of love Danny was cultivating; Steve was an attractive man. It was better to sit safely on this chair and not be confronted with the McGarrett’s manly body up close and personal.

Danny was strong, but he wasn’t a saint.

It was one thing to want Steve; it was another to let his partner know about those feelings. It had already cost him more then he thought possible.

“Danno.”

Danny looked up startled; Steve was staring down at him, confused. Then his mouth set in a determined line and Danny tightened his shoulders. Steve was ready to push.

Steve dropped into his chair and popped open his beer. Danny watched him take a long swallow, wanting to trace the prominent vein in Steve’s neck with his tongue. Steve set the beer down and looked Danny straight in the eye.

“ So,” he began, “we can do this two ways: You tell me now what the hell is going on or I start asking questions until I figure it out. Either way, Danny, I am going to find out.”

“Or,” Danny choked out, still thinking about what Steve’s skin would taste like, “I could get in my car and go home.”

Steve nodded. “You could do that, but if you really didn’t want to tell me, you already would have left.”

Danny dropped his shoulders and the tension flowed out his body. Exhaustion set its claws deep, and Danny was just tired of feeling like the bad guy.

He smiled wanly, “It’s nothing, man. Like you said, it’s just been a long ass week. I just need to get my head on straight.”

“Is this about Rachel? Is she giving you are hard time about Grace?”

“Where the hell did that come from?” Danny sputtered. “No, McGarrett, it has nothing to do with them.”

“You’re lying,” Steve frowned. “You got twitching when I asked about Grace in the car.”

Danny rocketed up, hands waving, “No, I’m not. And where do you get off telling me about things that have nothing to do with you. It’s my problem and I didn’t ask you to be involved.”

“I’m your partner, Danno. Your problems are my problems.”

“Of course, it’s your problem. It’s your fucking fault in the first place!” Danny exploded. His chest heaved and even if he hadn’t said it, the cat had obviously left the bag.

Steve stood cautiously but his eyes were narrowed in thought. Danny knew that look. Steve hadn’t worked navel intelligence for nothing.

“What does that mean?” Steve asked slow and careful. Like he was coaxing a victim to tell their story.

Danny turned away and stared at the sun shining off the crashing waves. He soaked it in because this might be the last time he would stand here, basking in the comforts of home. Because when it came down to it, home wasn’t Jersey, Rachel, or Hawaii. It was Steve.

Danny sighed, “Rachel was leaving Stan. If I had gone to Jersey, my family would be together. Grace would have her family back, but I didn’t. I chose to stay here. I put my own needs above hers and I am terrible father for that. I had a chance to give my baby her life back, and I blew it.”

He turned back to look at Steve.

Steve stood very still, every line of his body tense like he was on the verge of charging but was holding back.

“Why did you choose to stay?” Steve’s voice was clipped and the words dropped like ice.

Danny laughed half heartedly, “ You know why.”

“Danny. I’m going to need you to say it.”

“Fine. If ruining my life means that much to you, I’ll say it. Steve, I stayed for you. Because, I’m an idiot, who fell in love with his suicidal partner and choose him over giving my daughter the family she deserves. There! You happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

Danny opened his mouth, ready to rant about Steve’s word choice but then his mouth was occupied by another mouth and his mind went offline.

Steve kissed like he was going to war. Confident, thorough, and like it was the last he would ever feel. Danny approved down to the tips of his curling toes.

Finally, Steve broke the kiss. It could have been minutes or hours, either way, Danny never felt more in sync in his life. Problems, what problems. In fact, he just needed Steve to keep on kissing him and he was sure world peace would eventually be reached.

“First,” Steve said, “You are not a terrible father. Gracie is not any less loved because you didn’t get back together with Rachel. She may be disappointed, but that doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision. She knows you will always love her. Second, she isn’t the only one.”

“Use your words, Steven”

Steve grinned, leaning down to place another mind numbing kiss on Danny’s lips.

“I love you too, Danno.”

Danny grinned right back. “You know, my favorite part of that speech, is how I had just finished pouring my heart out to you and instead of putting me out of my misery, you open with how not terrible of a father I am. Brilliant Steve, just give a guy a heart attack, why don’t you?”

“I wanted to say something for a while now but I wasn’t sure you felt the same.”

“Babe, I stood up my ex wife at the airport. I gave up Jersey for you!”

Steve laughed. “I know. I just wanted to make sure, you wouldn’t change your mind.”

“Keep kissing me like that and I promise you won’t have to worry about that,” said Danny, running his tongue over his lips.

Steve’s eyes turned stormy with passion. “How about we go upstairs and I’ll see if I can come up with anymore reasons to not worry.”

“Yeah, babe, lets do that.”

Steve grabbed Danny by the hand and tugged him inside. It wasn’t always going to be this easy, but Danny knew that it would always be worth it.

 

 

 

 

                                                             

 

 


End file.
